I have really wanted Eharmony to work for me… to the point
where I’ve been paying the outrages fees every month to feel rejected and not
good enough to date the guys in the DC metro area.
But I’ve come to the pop culture conclusion that it isn’t me
that it must be them *them being the online dating site*
And since we like list, here are the top 5 reasons eharmony
isn’t working for me.
1) Burned out.
I have this theory, a theory I tell anyone who listens. You
can only successfully have an online dating profile for 6 months. You always get date when you first join a
site because you put on these rose colored glasses and respond to every message
you get.
And after 6 months you become bored, picky, annoyed, etc and have to stop using the site.
And after 6 months you become bored, picky, annoyed, etc and have to stop using the site.
My first problem is that I’ve had an online dating profile
on and off now for almost two years (it
is kind-of sad when you actually type that out). And I feel like I’ve already read every
clever profile, seen every picture, and more importantly gone out on a first
date with every guy on OkC/eharmony/match/etc.
Listed and checked off: hill staffer, lawyer, southern guy,
cali guy, Midwest guy, musician, cool tattoo guy, balding guy who has a full
head of hair in his pic, funemployment guy, get drunk on the first date guy,
guy who doesn’t drink, comic book guy, preppy boy, new to dc, phd grad, never went to college guy,…. Trust me
I can go on.
It wears you out and leaves you expecting unrealistic
things.
2) I’m picky, but not
picky enough.
I have certain requirement just like every girl has certain
requirements. But when I get desperate I
eliminate certain requirements.
Exhibit A: I
can’t date a vegan. I’m from the Midwest I like my meat, but I go on dates with
vegans because they seem like nice guys and it always ends poorly. I always say something like “but cows want to
be milked” and I never here from the guy again.
Exhibit B: I
can’t date skinny boys; I need the guy to be bigger then me. But then I start thinking I’m shallow and
spend the whole date being self-conscience about the burger and French fries
I’m eating.
3) lack of t-shirt boys.
Guys who wear clever nerdy t-shirts *example: woot shirts or here*
aren’t on these dating sites. Laid-back
guys aren’t concerned about waking up one day being 40 and unmarried; they just
live in the moment.
And I like these nerdy t-shirt wearing tech junkies. They work weird hours, say odd things, and
completely get me…. But they aren’t showing up as one of my daily matches.
4) I don’t like hiking,
waking up at 6 am to run (or running at all), and I have no desire to have a
dog.
If I added somewhere in my profile that:
Hey I’m K! I love to
go hiking on my days off and exploring the world around me almost as I love my
dog Betsy!!!!!! And I wake up every morning at 6am to run before my 9-5 because
I want to finish my first marathon in September…
I would probably be engaged right now.
5) I’m doing this
online dating thing for all the wrong reasons.
I want to be in a relationship just to be in a
relationship. I date boys who aren’t
right for me, ones that I can’t see myself with in 6 months, and ones that have
nothing in common with me because I want to be happy. I want to show my friends “hey look at me! I’m happy, I’m in a
relationship!”
Until I figure out what I’m really looking for and until I
let the universe work its magic without me trying to interfere I’m just going
to have bad luck with this online dating stuff.
but then again I have yet to try this dating site and it looks like a winner!
---
I have been putting on my sexy face* lately and I am more in the mindset that I'm ready to flirt with strangers and have fun with the idea of being young in this city.
so hopefully this blog will start being updated a little more.
*sexy face= shorts, tshirt, makeup, and more confidence then I know what to do with.
-K
I'm also slightly obsessed with Lily Allen right now.
I can't tell you how many times I've told my friends "yeah he is great, there is just no chemistry."
example
The main question is, are you having fun going on all these dates? If you are, then aren't you happy? If not, then that sucks balls as life should be fun yeah?
ReplyDeleteK, couple things. My husband buys those stupid woot t-shirts all the time! But it's worse than that, he buys 2 (L and sm) so we can match!! Can you get more ridiculous. If I had seen this coming I may not have married him... but seriously being married to a guy that doesn't care what people think was a really great move - I'm glad you think so too. Second, I used to go on a ton of one-time dates when I was single and I always had a blast. That's bc I picked something I wanted to do anyway - like go-cart race, climb a mountain, try a new restaurant, etc so even if the guy sucked I still found something to enjoy about the night. Plus, if the guy sucks it's always a funny story. Anyway, you will definitely find a laid back woot wearing t-shirt guy when the time is right. I've found that many people find that guy when they stop looking for him. I'm glad that you're back blogging btw. :)
ReplyDeleteExcellent points all around! I've been trying online dating for the past 6 months and am just about ready to call it quits. At a certain point, I get the feeling that:
ReplyDeletea.) Every single man looks the same,
b.) I'm the only person who doesn't go hiking with my dog on Saturday mornings;
c.) I am ALSO somehow the only person in the entire region that doesn't go on exotic international travels every other weekend.
As an avid online dater who has tried eharmony twice at two different ages/stages in my dating history I think it only works for a very select group of non normal people.
ReplyDeleteGroup A: Uber Religious folk who believe in being chaste and are looking for marriage quickly so they can procreate.
Group B: People over 37 who older and have a different attitude about meeting people on traditional dating sites. These people have a range of quirks but mainly are not going to be uber popular on traditional sites and they need the matching eharmony offers.
I say this because I know about six couples who have met on this site and they fit into either Category A or B. Seeing that you dear K fit into neither of these categories don't be glum if eharmony (aka epic-fail matching) doesn't work for you. Try something new fun, fresh, and less automated.
Want a nerdy T shirt tech junkie? I suggest checking out somewhere they visit or saying so in your profile. Will be blogging soon about picking up geeks of my own, and you'll be surprised where. :)
love your tweets. and your blog. I just recently let my eharmony subscription expire. So few of my matches ever responded and I keep getting matched with these uber religious people and that's just not for me. I wish you, K, were an eharmony match, but that wouldn't happen because I'm in rural Georgia. But I will be in DC the whole first week of July so maybe you can tell me where you'll be so you can flirt with this nerdy t-shirt junkie
ReplyDeleteMan, I feel your pain. I've been on Match for the last three months and have mostly met the most terrible men ever. The last Match date I went on was a disaster. Evidently I forgot to ask that age old question "Do you have a girlfriend?", because dude's gf showed up towards the end of the date.
ReplyDeleteThe few nice guys I have met on Match just disappear into thin air. Were they real? Did I make up a decent date just to justify paying those stupid fees?
Like the masochist that I am, I just joined eHarmony. I'm fairing no better there sadly.
Wow! I'm so glad I found your blog. If I see one more profile picture taken of the guy holding a fish or from the driver's seat heading to wherever, im going to freak out. Also, why are dudes including photos where they have their wedding ring on. I was married at one point too , but would it kill you to take a current picture? Im a believer in - you'll find someone when you least expect it. I just thought I try out e harmony and im just extremely frustrated. It was nice to commiserate.
ReplyDeleteSan
In the past, many women believe that their choices of men are those who are found within their immediate environment. Then, there were no means for them to meet other guys. If they ever meet men from another country it is because these men have visited their places or have stayed there. There are also some who marry men outside of the country because they were able to work or study there. American men & women singles for date
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with guys who don't drink? It's women like you that need to grow up...
ReplyDelete